


Bioré

by MaramMarks



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, M/M, idk they freak me the fuck out id want to know what i was walking into, klance, warning: nose strips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9708827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaramMarks/pseuds/MaramMarks
Summary: Keith's nose is a quiznaking mess.Or, Lance takes advantage of the fact that dating means Keith having to indulge in more of his antics, including facial emergencies. Casual Keith/Lance dating, no angst (for once) and hey, Shiro's still here!





	

**Author's Note:**

> my last fic was kinda heavy so here, darlings, have this . . . thing. this lovely, light, fluffy thing. go forth and bring further joy into the world (you could bring me joy by commenting! ouch ok. that was rough. ignore me. i hope yall like this)

Keith liked to think he held himself to certain standards. 

Dropping out of the Garrison to pursue a crazy conspiracy in the desert? Okay. Abandoning earth to join a team of robot space lions to defeat the greatest source of evil in the known universe? Sure. Diving head first into asteroid fields? Check. Starting needless fights with aliens over a knife? Fine. Start up an intimate and committed relationship with his former rival, despite the fact that they worked together and it was just a recipe for disaster? All right. But  _this?_ This was crossing the damn line. 

"Babe, your pores are disgusting," Lance told him honestly.

Keith had to try extra hard to maintain his solemn expression at Lance's use of the term  _babe._ He knew that got to him, and he was doing it on purpose. "My pores are fine. And if we were meant to use these . . . these--"

"Bioré Charcoal Pore Strips," Lance assisted.

"--then they'd grow on trees or something! Read the box and tell me how many chemicals are in those things. It's not natural." He crossed his arms firmly over his chest. 

Lance rolled his eyes. "Neither are space ships or your haircut, but I don't see you making a stink about any of  _those_ manmade atrocities." 

"Ugh, Lance! They freak me out."

"Why?"

"Because they're  _gross._ " Keith was referencing the time last week when Lance had come crashing into his bedroom, ecstatic, displaying the black piece of gunk he had just ripped off his nose and explained to Keith that all the little white dots were chunks of dead skin, dirt, dust, and whatever other crap had built up inside his skin.  _And those are blackheads, see? It just pulls 'em right out!_

"Babe," Lance said again, and Keith's eyebrows pressed together in frustration. "Think of it this way: all that gross that ends up  _on_ the paper, was previously  _in your nose!_ That's definitely worse."

"Or, I could just go about my life  _not_ thinking about the amount of crap clogged up in my nose pores, and I'd be a happy man."

"Nothing could make you _happy."_ Lance shot him that goofy, carefree grin which caused Keith to simultaneously melt and fill with boiling hatred. "You're too emo."

"I'm not--"

"Don't start. Are we doing this, or are we doing this?"

"You're literally not giving me a choice here."

"I'm aware of how I structured that question, yes." Lance smirked. "C'mon. How 'bout this: I'll owe you one."

"Define 'one.'" Keith's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Lance rarely made deals between the two of them fair.

"Anything," Lance promised. "I'll do whatever you want to do with you, if you do this with me."

Immediately, a few creative ideas popped into Keith's mind. The value of this offer, this  _owing him one,_ was far too great to pass up. "Fine." 

He spit into his hand and offered it out to shake. Lance sighed. Even dating couldn't change some things.

* * *

 

"Okay, first you have to get your nose nice and wet."

" _What?!"_

"It won't stick if your nose is dry!" Lance explained, playfully splashing water from the faucet into Keith's face. "Wet it."

Keith did as he was told. "Okay, now what?"

"Bend it back and forth to break the slits apart."

"Okay. And?"

"Peel it off the wrapper."

"Uh-huh."

"And stick it on, like this." 

Keith tried to mimic Lance's placement, but it felt wrong. "Did I do this right?"

Lance reached over and adjusted the strip so it sat more evenly across Keith's nose. "You got a tiny nose."

"What? No, I don't."

"Dude, look in the mirror! There's so much extra strip, it's like halfway across your cheek. Your nose is  _narrow."_ Lance laughed at his own innuendo. 

Keith slapped him, not too lightly, and threatened, "well, if that's what you think, you don't have to see it for awhile--"

"No, no! It's not narrow, it's fine. It's great. Great nose. Very big, thick nose."

Keith tried not to laugh, but a smile broke through. "You're disgusting."

"Hey, you're dating me," he retorted, looking smug. Lance found he still hadn't gotten over the thrill of saying that;  _you're dating me. We're dating. Dating._ "C'mon, we have to leave them on for fifteen minutes. We can wait in my room." 

"What can we do in fifteen minutes?" Keith asked, following Lance out of the bathroom.

"Hey,  _now_ who's disgusting? I was just suggesting we sit and talk for awhile,  _pervert._ " Lance chuckled as he ducked into his room. "Maybe you can tell me a little bit about  _my_ nose, huh?"

Keith followed him, blushing a little at his genuine misunderstanding and rolling his eyes at Lance's cockiness. Down the hall, Shiro watched as the two boys disappeared behind the door, towels folded bee-hive style on their heads and dawning bathrobes over pajamas. He paused for a moment, considered his options, and just continued walking. 

* * *

 

"This is disgusting," Keith said, poking at the black goo over his nose.

"Leave it!" Lance commanded, swatting his hand away. "You have to let it callous." 

"I have to let it  _what?"_

"It'll get hard," Lance began, then cut himself off with a snort. "I mean, like, it'll dry. And then you can peel it off."

"How long does that take?"

"For the  _fourth time,_ fifteen minutes."

"And how long has it been?"

"Three."

"Ugh."

* * *

 

"Okay," Lance said. They were back in the bathroom, facing the mirror that stretched across the wall behind the double sinks. "Now, starting at the corners, you have to peel it up  _towards_ the middle of your nose."

Keith winced. "It hurts."

"No more than pulling off a bandaid, you big baby." Then, after a pause, "although, I don't tknow how much crap it's gonna pull up from your virgin nose. It could be intense." 

With one quick, violent motion, Keith ripped the strip off his nose. "Argh! That's so nasty!"

He held it out for Lance to see, displaying the now-stripped blackheads and other nose gunk attached to the adhesive side of the Bioré strip. Comparatively, Lance's was practically bare. "Dude! That's so cool."

"Eugh." Keith brought a hand to his now-reddened nose. "It feels naked."

"Lemme see." Lance pulled Keith's hand down and inspected the newly cleansed pores. "Ah! It looks so good oh my gosh. Your nose is radiant. Let me see the thing again."

Keith handed over his used nose strip and made a face. "Please tell me you're not weirdly turned on by this."

Lance blushed a little but laughed it off. "I wouldn't say like,  _turned_ on, turned on. But there is definitely a sort of satisfaction in watching another man rip dirt from within his own nose pores."

Keith laughed and turned himself around so his back was leaned against the counter. Lance sidestepped to face him and pressed their hips together. He brought his face down a little too close to Keith's. "What? You don't think my nose is sexy now?"

Keith pierced his lips, pretending to think. "Well, I wouldn't say it's my favorite thing about you or anything, but . . . it'll do."

His arms wrapped around Keith's neck, met instinctively by Keith's wrists against his hips. "You callin' my nose mediocre?"

Keith shrugged. "I've always felt it's better to measure value less in the quality of the thing itself more so than in how you  _use_ it, y'know?"

"You're hot when you use big words," Lance said, closing the space between their lips. 

"'Quality' is not a big word," Keith argued, breaking away. Lance, never discouraged, switched his attention then to Keith's neck. The contact caused the towel wrapped around his hair to drape over the two of them. Lance remained ever-focused on the task at hand, which was, in that moment,  _getting his boyfriend into bed,_ but the disturbance caused Keith to touch upon a minor epiphany. "Dude."

_"Mrmm,"_ Lance moaned into his collarbone, not-so-subtly working his way down. 

"No, for real. Think about what one of these would look like off  _Shiro."_

Lance's head bounced up. "Shiro does have an impressively greasy nose." 

"Or what about, like, Allura and Coran? Do Alteans get blackheads?" 

"I feel like we kind of have to find out."

"Right?"

"For science."

"Yes, science." 

The pair exchanged a quick glance before darting out of the room with newfound purpose. 

* * *

 

"I don't know how I feel about this . . ." Shiro said skeptically, going cross-eyed in an attempt to view the black gauze over his nose. 

Lance and Keith watched with great interest as the rest of the team sat waiting to pull off their nose strips. Pidge, who claimed to have tried them before, was relatively unaffected and had resumed work at her laptop as if nothing changed. Hunk was fixated on trying to understand  _how_ the strips worked, and had been staring at the box for the better part of ten minutes. Allura and Coran were only mildly disturbed, though they kept insisting Alteans had naturally unblemished skin.

"Just leave it, Shiro," Keith advised. "You're almost done."

"It feels like a cast." Shiro still sounded distressed. "Like that time we were kids and Ben Rodriguez decked me for you calling him a--what was it you called him?"

"I don't remember."

"Well, whatever you called him. And he broke my nose and I had to have that thing over it for two weeks to keep it from shifting. That's what this feels like."

"You let Shiro get his nose broken for you?" Lance asked, teasing. "I always figured you fought your own battles."

"I can't help it when Shiro gets punched," Keith defended, earning him  _The Dad Glare._

"I'll remember that next time I'm defending you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"How much longer do I have to keep this thing on?"

"Hunk, if you poke it one more time I'm going to knock you unconscious for the next five minutes." 

"That seems excessive."

"You're being a little annoying," Pidge agreed. "I think this whole process is supposed to be relaxing."

"Pft, relaxing?!" Lance demanded. "You want relaxing, tomorrow night we'll try mud masks--"

The rest of the team groaned in unanimous response. 

fin


End file.
